In the Sunday Times inbox yesterday:
Nasty messages on T-shirts
"I was offended by the messages printed on T-shirts worn by two young men in the Bugis Junction area two weeks ago. One message in bold lettering said:"I am surrounded by idiots." The other message was a large picture showing the "third finger" "..." Such a scenario must surely be deemed an infringement of the Public Entertainments and Meetings Act by the police because offensive messages were being flashed prominently by the wearers."

Oh my God! Sometimes I do wonder whether the "Big Brother" we're referring to is actually the government or our own citizens. Or maybe some Singaporeans still need a nanny government. So now, we're gonna have a fashion police to rein in these youngsters' sense of fashion?

Fashion police: Eh boy, you cannot wear this shirt leh. The picture on it very offensive to that person there. Can you take please take it off? I have to confiscate it.
Boy: Wah lao! Then what you want me to wear? Want me to walk around Orchard topless ah? Later I kena caught by the real police leh!
Fashion police: No lah. I give you this to wear. Can choose what colour you want.

Now no one will be able to accuse the wearer of displaying offensive texts or images in public because if they do, they will be charged under the Sedition Act.

Introducing Super Mug-ger...and her weapons of mass muggerism.

1) Power glasses which function as a magnifier at the same time to allow for more effective note-reading.

2) Hair-shaped helmet to protect the fragile and important brain within.

3) M.U.G jumpsuit that is able to keep mug-ger's body temperature constant and keep her odourless at all times, thus saving mug-ger the trouble of bathing.

4) Essential notes to keep mug-ger alive.

5) Expandable and durable bag that allows mug-ger to bring her books on the go.

6) Rubber boots that allows mug-ger to get to her mugging hideouts in the shortest time possible.

Mug-ger's guide to mugging hideouts:
XXX school library (4 stars)
Extremely conducive place to study because students are expected to stay mute under the watchful eyes of the librarians. Other muggers around will motivate you to stay focused on your notes. However, the freezing cold temperature at certain times proved too much for mug-ger, even with her jumpsuit on, to handle. Librarians also demonstrated their inflexibility by constantly spouting the phrase "Ger ah, cannot wear T-shirt in the library. The school don't allow ah!". Overall, the mugging experience was still a pleasant one there.

Pac-man! Just felt like creating a lame image.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes
eww

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and a baby
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.........................................................

How is it possible for 2 kids look after a baby? In my opinion, this is just a flawed family. Besides, just imagine the potential embarrassment the kid, as in the baby, is going to face. The poor child...

A likely conversation:

Kid A: Hey, I heard _____'s parents just bought a new couch to jump on.
Kid B: Yeah, that's old news man, the last I heard they were even playing with his/her toys.
Kid A: Gosh, from which planet do his/her parents come from?
Kid B: Planet Hollywood.

1) The television overheats and explodes in your face. (the above image is a rip-off from www.adparade.com)

2) You spend half the time sleeping and the other half thinking of sleep. Pork chop becomes a gruesome dish to you.

3) Your notes suddenly look like Greek to you.

4) You burned a hole in the seat of your computer chair.

5) You spend time reading this blog when you know bloody well you've got better things to do.

Exhibiting any of the above signs requires you to seek professional help immediately by checking into Slackers Anonymous.